I love writing. That's why I keep various journals and write regularly on different blogs. I love sharing my thoughts with an audience.
My most recent writing endeavor was submitting an essay to This I Believe, a project that publishes the personal philosophies of writers. I love the project, and was introduced to it by a beloved therapist. So, when my English teacher asked, "Has anyone heard of This I Believe," I was overwhelmed with an inexplicable joy. I am nearly always silent in school, so it wasn't surprising that all heads turned to me when I said too enthusiastically, "Yes! I love This I Believe! I just submitted an essay!"
I turned about as red as a tomato. I have no idea where this outburst came from. I was even more embarrassed when my teacher said, "Oh, great, Shae! What is your essay about?" I think I died a little bit. My essay is about intuitive eating and recovering from an eating disorder-- NOT something I wanted to say in front of my class. I stammered quietly to myself.
Luckily, my teacher was running out of time, and he moved on almost immediately after asking this question. Even if I had wanted to respond, I wouldn't have had the chance to do so. "This I Believe," he droned, "Is a project that began in the 1950s..." I was officially off the hook.
My face was red for the rest of the 45 minutes of class. I left five minutes early to avoid further questions.
I believe that I am the president of the I-EMBARRASS-MYSELF-ALL-THE-TIME Club. Whatever!
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